Posted by on 15th February 2021

Nincompoops guide to sales

Many people in the UK and beyond have little idea how to sell products or services successfully. They go on to fail miserably and lose money, patience, or even their jobs in the process. So, I have made a simple A-Z guide to enable answers to this conundrum.

A is for Advertising. If you do not advertise you will never sell anything. So, spend 10% of your sales budget on advertising.

B is for Best. Salespeople are hard wired to promise that they are selling the best product. Be honest about what you are selling or you will never sell again. Your employer may not like it now, but you may change jobs in the future and its your own reputation at stake here!  Equally with people selling to you, assume they are lying about something to get a quicker sale from you. Cross examine them like barrister would.

C is for Customer. Its worth spending time with them even if they do not buy now. The sale is in the bag or wish list for next year.

D is for Display. If you cannot display what you are selling as pictures, then no one will buy anything from you.

E is for eBay or Etsy. Do your research here as well as with your own specialized resources. It will help with competitive pricing.

F is for Flyer. Put these in your delivery boxes with loyalty codes, offers and anything else you can communicate in print to increase sales.

G is for Google. This is your library. Use it well and it will pay you off with the market research it can lead to.

H is for Hell. This is where you end up if your business does not make a profit and you lose your house in the process along with spouse and everything you have worked towards.

I is for Idiot. Idiots will advertise products for sale with vital parts of the product story missing. The only thing they will miss is a sale because unfortunately for them, customers are smarter and see through the lack of information.

J is for Jail. If you sell a faulty product, it could result in legal action and you could end up in jail if it results in serious injury or death. So, think legal before you go to market.

K is for Key. The key to selling is here in this guide. So, read it all.

L is for Loss. Be prepared to cut your losses if a product fails. Do not throw good money after bad.

M is for Marketing. This is a few stages before selling. Its about research and understanding of the places and people you wish to sell to, so you hit the marketplace with the correct product or service that will sell.

N is for Nincompoop. This is maybe what you thought you were, but after reading this guide you have taken some advice and now feel more confident.

O is for Online advertising. Look out for the methods you employ. If your advertising is not linked to a guaranteed sales return of £1000 for every £150 you spend on advertising, there is a serious problem.

P is for Public Relations. The minute you start selling you become a public figure, so behave accordingly and avoid controversy unless that would increase sales for years to come.

Q is for Question. Be prepared to give an answer every question about your product, no matter how small. Or you may not be able to sell it.

R is for Reach. Knowing how big your market is and where it is.

S is for Shop. Selling is in effect running a shop. Think of the shops you like and why you like them. Now use this information to help sell your products.

T is for Test. Be prepared to run a test product run and try the market to see what happens. It will provide invaluable feedback to help with a product launch.

U is for Useless. If something looks like a chocolate teapot then it probably is. So always offer the pictures, diagrams, and technical drawings to back up the viability of your product for its potential uses. Or you will not sell anything.

V is for Version 2. Do not sit on your laurels, if you have a good saleable product then others will jump on the bandwagon and copy you, so get the improved versions in a pipeline for subsequent launches.

W is for World. There are nearly 8 billion people on Earth and that is a huge market.

X is for X or XXX rated. This is an extremely easy market for crime to operate in so be warned if you employ this type of advertising or social media influencing, it is a slippery slope that you will not be able to climb back up, reputation is lost.

Y is for YouTube. The nice people at Google gave you a free TV channel to use for Advertising. Use it for free.

Z is for zero profit. If this is happening, go on holiday and reflect, give up, retire, or consider a new career.

nincompoops guide to sales

Nincompoops guide to sales

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Laurence Dunn MCIM
Marketing in Essex
One Hub 7th Floor, Maitland House,
Warrior Square

City of Southend-on-Sea SS1 2JY
United Kingdom